Broken Hearted. Diagnosis.

The Diagnosis: Today was the day I went to the doctor. I know in my last post I said this would only be failure if I let it be. Well I just got the news not but 1 hour ago so your getting the "fresh wound" out look right now. Zero positive attitude coming at you hot. Right now I feel like I just finally had momentum on my running I finally became a runner. I was even into the stage of having to buy real running gear like body glide and nice socks and good sports bras. I guess I can save my rubles. The doctor does not have a solid diagnosis yet but it could be one of two things. The first being - Achilles Tendinitis ( a runner hell!! but what I'm hoping for). The second being torn Tendons- I have grinding and that is what he is worried about that is definitely not normal. I have to wear the walking boot for two weeks 24 hours a day well I get to sleep without it and shower but other then that nothing. I asked him about no or low impact activities and he said absolutely not. After the two weeks we take the boot off and run. If it still hurts that is a bad sign because if I had option "A" I would be good to go and I will be able to continue running and there would be no pain because it only takes a few weeks of rest and it would be healed. With option B- I would be going back to get a bone scan to see if it's a stress fracture and or if my tendon have ripped. I would then likely not even be able to participate in the half marathon at all. Needless to say even if I am only out for an additional two weeks that is a total of three weeks with no cardio training at all. and It would be near impossible to run the whole half. So my goal is no longer attainable. I have now decided that the Seattle half is going to be my new goal its 5 weeks later. Well that is what the doctor said so there you have it.

The reaction: I must say right now I feel like I can't do anything right!! I was doing everything the right way and going slow and steady but I still got injured. I feel like I am going to be a bump on a log now for the next two weeks and turn into a big fat blob!! Nothing works like running does to get into shape. I feel like in two weeks time I will be back in my fat pants and feel like running was a stupid idea to begin with. I am currently in tears because no matter what anyone tells me I don't feel like they understand. I know that they are being supportive and caring and what not but right now I don't care. They were not the ones giving up Seahawks games and beers with friends and getting 5 hours of sleep and waking up at 6 am on weekends to get in a 5 mile run. So it all falls on deaf ears right now. I mean this was my big fear I was even worried about playing my beloved game of softball because I didn't want to get injured. I created a habit and stayed with it pretty well only missing two days in 5 weeks. I have accomplished something I didn't think I could do when it come to running and training and now I have to stop. I want to sit and cry...more. This may all sound dramatic to you all because it is just again two weeks. I was also debating if I should even post my reaction paragraph. But I figure It might help me get it all out there. Or it may show someone else that they are not alone. I said that this blog would be the documentation of my adventure and I wanted to stay true to that. The good bad and the UGLY. So there you have it.

The solution: I was driving back to the office and was racking my brain on activities I can do to stay in shape ( and not a round shape). I was on the fence back and forth be positive or crack. I am still on the face emotionally but mentally I have decided that this will slow me down but it will not stop me. I am going to become a strength training machine, I recently had a goal of doing 100 consecutive push ups (there is a training program). I did not make it but I am going to get back on that band wagon and I am also going to work my core until Victoria ( from Victoria Secret) calls me herself and asks me to be an "Angel" aka bra model. I am going to do join a gym to get more access to different exercise equipment where I will not be using my foot. I am going to need to come up with a training program that I can post and check off just Like I was doing with running. I know I said a lot of this last week but I didn't think I'd be out another two weeks so I did lift and bike last week and tried to run ( unsuccessfully) to stay in shape but its got to be in high gear now. I am going to have to watch my nutrition a touch closer now, but I should have done that anyway. I am going to have a positive mental attitude and practice P.S.T. ( positive self talk). I got that from my coaching friends back home (thanks Jim and Simpson). I also am going to need some help from the big guy up stairs on this one so I will be praying for strength along the way so that I do not get discouraged. I know I have it in me to get through a set back but it is just disheartening.
That was the long and the short of it. I'm feeling pretty good about things and I know it could be worse so I am thankful its not.
-Rookie Runner-